I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
