Just mADE A PArabola og urine
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
