Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I believe in your delicious
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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