As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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