if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
