Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize