porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
