She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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