Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
