Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
