He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
