Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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