Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
