He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think your dad took our porno
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
