a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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