This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
