so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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