Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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