I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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