does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
