i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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