smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
