Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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