I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
