the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
