What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
