saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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