Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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