Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I CAN MOONWALK!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
