I've blown a few things in my day
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
