I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
