My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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