my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
