So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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