I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
im holly from the hills drunk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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