you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
