Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
