Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
