i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
