so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
someone get that fucking seahorse.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This is my gift to your gina
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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