u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
