He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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