I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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