Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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