shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
