After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
