My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
sarcasm needs its own font
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
