You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
