any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
