brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
