You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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