was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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