i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
