Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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