I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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