I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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