I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
