what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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