plz talk dirty to me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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