hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
bring money and cleavage
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
