Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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