I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
